A dating coach to help you get over emotionally unavailable and move on to attract a committed relationship of your dreams.

Katherine Bouglai, CEC

(Certified Empowerment Coach)

I was raised by a single mother in a very repressed society heavily influenced by communism. My father always had serious problems with alcohol and was not around when I was growing up. As a result, I had both, the issues of a fatherless child and an alcoholic's child. My early interactions with men/boys were pretty much limited to my mother's boyfriends coming over where I was told to behave myself and boys from my neighborhood and school teasing me. As a result, by the time I became a teenager I was not popular with boys and boys were not popular with me. Not having a loving father around really added to my then formed belief that men were ultimately unsafe and not to be trusted.

I've had two long-lasting relationships in my early twenties, but at the time I was too young and had no idea how to be in a relationship with a man, so when it became too much for me, I would leave them. They both ended up feeling heartbroken and I felt like the worst person on the planet for breaking up with them. Then, to avoid this pain and guild I started falling for emotionally unavailable guys.

Sometime in my mid twenties I met this guy. After our first date, which I must add happened unexpectedly, we quickly got into a relationship. I did not know what I was doing and I didn't care, we were so in love with each other at the time, I felt high when I was around him and couldn't stand it being away from him for very long. So, we pretty much spent every day together. Little by little, day by day I started losing myself in this relationship, his friends became my friends, his hobbies became my hobbies and his family became my family. We were high in romance for about 6 months, the next 6 months we were having long distance relationship as I was away, and over the period of our last 6 months our love has slowly turned into a nightmare. I was terrified of losing him and I did everything I could to be the perfect girlfriend. I joined him for all the activities he enjoyed, hung out with his family almost every weekend, every time his close friend and I didn't "click" I was really worried because the thought of losing this person was terrifying to me. Then, when I took a business trip to San Francisco, he called me up and broke up with me over the phone while I was away. My heart was broken and I was devastated, I was lost and I was angry, I hated him and I hated myself. As painful as it was, this breakup brought me the biggest gift of life -- slowly but surely I got myself back, plus more dignity, more self-awareness and self love then I've ever had in my entire life! The next three years of my personal life were challenging and very powerful. Sure I've had crushes on other men during those three years, some were stronger than others, some lasted 3 weeks, others went on for 6 months. There was hardly a time when I didn't have some guy in my head. But every single (and not single) one of those men was unavailable in one form or the other. It became really frustrating after a while.

What really saved me at the time was the fact that I really got into self-help and personal development. A few years ago I went to a retreat to help me get over yet another emotionally unavailable guy. I remember asking one of the facilitators there: “why am I so attracted to emotionally unavailable men?” He replied: “Because you are emotionally unavailable to yourself.” Even though his answer really didn't make sense at the time, it did stick in my head. Ever since then I was wondering, how in the world was I emotionally unavailable to myself. As far as I was concerned, I took care of myself pretty well. I paid all my bills on time, I ate healthy foods, exercised, practiced yoga, went to the spas, attended retreats and support groups to connect with others, what else was there to it?

Then, little by little I started realizing that as much as I did, there was still something very important missing in my life. There was that deep emptiness in my heard that none of the spa visits or yoga classes could fill up. Every amazing spiritual retreat would eventually end and I had to go home and that emptiness would return. No wonder why, every time an attractive guy would show up in my life and make me forget about this emptiness, I wanted to hold on to him. Naturally, he always turned out to be emotionally unavailable. It then became clear to me that I had to take care of this emptiness before I allow myself to hook up with any guy. And only when I did that part, when I started taking full responsibility for my feelings and stepping into my power little by little, I found my new passion in life. I am in a loving committed relationship now and I've never been happier.

Looking back at my relationship struggles of the past, where I was then and where I am now, I have developed a special program for women who are struggling just like I was. 7 steps to Personal Empowerment really teaches you how to take care of your needs and the emptiness you may feel. It shows you a better, healthier way to live a happy life. It is more challenging, but well worth it in the end.

Knowing you're worth the effort is what builds your self-esteem,
Believing that it is possible is what builds your confidence,
Committing to action is what turns your dream into reality.

Do you want to know more about how this program works?

Request Your Free 20 min Intro Session